The Happiest Place on Earth

That's right, it's last stop, LA, so that means Disneyland. Yet another place in America which turned out to be better than I thought, Disneyland is heaps of fun. there's some great rides - my personal favourites are the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters (which we did twice, allowing me to redeem my abysmal performance the first time round. i'm sure I had a broken laser gun the first time) Soarin' Over California and the Grizzly River Rapids. We did pretty much the lot at both Disneyland and California Adventure, except the big rollercoaster, which was closed. My new friend Lou at the front gate told me the whole story, and many other things about his life and retirement plans which I didn't specifically ask for but was happy to find out anyway, but basically it was something to do with the brakes not working and causing an accident a few months back. Still, it looked like an awesome rollercoaster, and I totally would have gone on the test rides they were doing, if they were actually willing to allow humans on. Brakes, schmakes, just turn the power off and let it roll to a gentle stop I say.

Anyway, you would think Disneyland would be overly cutesy and childish, but once you get there it really isn't, and it's got such an iconic status it's great to see it for real, even if Karen was a bit disappointed with the size of the castle.

We managed to fit in all the classic rides, the teacups (which are pretty hardcore actually - they left me worse for wear afterwards than any other ride we went on), we somehow ended up on the Winnie the Pooh ride, after which we stopped letting Karen and Michael picking the rides. Trace enjoyed it though. We also saw Pirates of the Caribbean, and It's a Small World, which thankfully ends just before the point where you go mad from hearing that one song constantly repeating and start attacking the dolls and destroying the display. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the ride, it was good to see an important historical feature of the park, and I appreciated the whole kitsch, retro vibe of the thing, I just think that prolonged exposure could result in serious, irreparable mental damage.

The canoe trips round the Rivers of America lagoon are pretty cool too, but try and pick your team carefully, as we were stuck with a bunch of giggly girls who were absolutely useless. I also think special recognition should go to the mountaineers who constantly climb up and down the Matterhorn during 35-40 degree weather with no guarantee anyone's actually watching them. Make sure you give them a wave next time you're there - we did - it's the least they deserve.



We did Universal Studios as well - the Terminator 3D movie was super, Shrek in 4D was good too, but not as much as the Bug's Life one back at Disneyland, Tracy leaping out of her seat during the bit where maggots crawl under your butt was hilarious (if you haven't been to see it, that's actually much less gross than it sounds). Jurassic Park was okay, there's really not much to it except for the big drop at the end, which was admittedly pretty damn good. The Waterworld show was great too, especially when viewed from the part of the audience which wasn't getting soaked.

Did a day tour of LA too, saw all the usual sights, downtown, Hollywood, Santa Monica Pier (I don't know how anybody could swim in water that brown) and Venice Beach. It was all good to see, nothing i'd really rave about though. And that's pretty much it. Spent our last day shopping, after a bit of a detour which saw us end up in the dodgiest shopping centre I've ever seen and getting lectured for it by the cab driver who rescued us and took us to some proper shops, and then it was back to the airport.



No more pat downs when we left, although I was glad to see Sipowicz there again. I don't think he remembered us, but we'll always have fond memories of the way the day he checked our torsos without alarming us. Would have liked to have gotten a photo, but somehow I don't think the security at LAX would have much of a sense of humour about that sort of thing.

The whole trip was pretty much brilliant. Aside from some of the days we were in transit, and even including some of them, we were saying world-famous landmarks pretty much everyday. Except the one day in Vancouver when we went to the crappy museum, which was almost entirely closed for refurbishment. That was a pretty ordinary day. But every other day - brilliant. So it's back home, to sort through all the photos, which takes some doing I can tell you, tell all the stories, and now that's almost done, start planning the next one. Don't know where that will be yet, but you'll be able to read all about it here eventually. Stay tuned.

Canyons and casinos

So, Vegas. If there's one place which caught me completely by surprise, this would probably be it. I've never been particularly interested in casinos, and expected Vegas to be a pretty tacky place, but I've found it be pretty cool, but for reasons which have nothing at all to do with gambling. We only had about 3 full days so we never really had time to gamble, except Michael, who won $4 from $1, but never got around to cashing it in (the pokies pay out in vouchers so you'll be tempted to keep playing I suppose).

There's so much else to look at though the last thing you want to do is sit around for too long. We're staying at the Luxor, inside the pyramid, which we were pretty happy about. Don't have much of a view, the room Tracy and I are in looks out directly at the middle of a giant sphinx's butt, but still, we're inside the pyramid so that's the main thing.



You know you've arrived somewhere unusual when you're greeted almost instantly by slot machines in the airport terminal, and then have to catch a monorail a James Bond villain would be pproud of to get to the baggage collection. Walking down the Strip is pretty surreal, right next door to the giant glass pyramid of the Luxor is the Excalibur, styled like a medieval castle, followed by New York, New York, not to mention the desert palace of Aladdin, the Eiffel Tower at Paris, the pirate ships of Treasure Island and the canals of the Venetian, you would think it would be a complete mess, but somehow it just seems to work. Anyone looking for a hot tip: the buffet at the Excalibur is one of the cheapest and has some of the best food, the Forum shops at Caesar's are amazing to walk through, and you absolutely must spend some time watching the Bellagio fountain shows - these are just brilliant, except for the Celine Dion songs which are a bit wussy. Wait for one of the big dramatic ones which use the really huge jets - they're unbelievable.

One of the things I liked most about Vegas was the desert setting, the red dirt, the wide open spaces skirted by mountains, it's quite striking. And then of course the Grand Canyon. The first thing you notice about the Grand Canyon is that it's really big. Really. Big. Grand you might even say. It's so big you can fly over it for half an hour and still only see a fraction of it. That's pretty big. We were on a 20 seat scenic flight out to the South Rim, flying over Lake Mead and the Hoover Dam, then went on a bus tour to Bright Angel Point to see the Canyon at it's widest point. The tour was good, but there's just way too much to see in a day trip. It changes so rapidly too, there was a constant procession of big, fluffy clouds overhead, which causes this constantly moving patchwork of shadows across the canyon walls, it's really something to see from the air, even if the flight's a bit on the bumpy side. An amazing place, one I'll definitely be going back to. Did I mention it's really big. Cause it is. Deep too.